Relationships between the Narcissist and the Empath
This is one of the most common relationships that an empath will find themselves in as the desire to heal themselves and others is strong. It’s difficult for the empath to see others in pain and the narcissist is an individual who is always in pain though this is a pain of their own making.
somewhere along the line, usually stemming from childhood causes a person to feel worthless and unvalued and, due to this, they will constantly and very desperately seek validation.
Here comes the empath, the healer. An empath has the ability to sense and absorb other people’s pain and often takes it on as though it were their own. What the empath fails to realise is that the narcissist is a taker. An energy sucker, a vampire so to speak. They will draw the life and soul out of anyone they come into contact with, given the chance. This is so that they can build up their own reserves and, in doing so, they can use the imbalance to their advantage.
This dynamic will confuse and debilitate an empath, The narcissist’s agenda is one of manipulation, it is imperative they are in a position where they can be in control. The empath’s agenda is to love, heal and care. The more love and care an empath offers, the more powerful and in control a narcissist will become. The more powerful the narcissist becomes, the more likely the empath will retreat into a victim status. When a narcissist sees that an empath is wounded they will play on this and the main intention will be to keep the empath down.
This dangerous spiral is a difficult one to get out of but often the empath falls into the battered wife/husband syndrome spiral and cant express properly how much they need help they see walls everywhere and feed off of the manipulation of the narcissist so that they can feel helpful not realising that its the narcissist thats keeping them where they are, the empath isn’t the problem it’s the narcissist.
Are you an empath in a relationship with a narcissist?
Here’s a few signs that you are
- A need for control.Narcissists want to control and manipulate their victims, so they will find covert ways to maintain control over the empath psychologically. They can maintain this control in a diverse number of ways:-Excessive contact. Although many people don’t realize this, excessive flattery and attention from a charming manipulator is actually a form of control because it keeps you dependent on their praise.
–An unhealthy response to rejection or boundaries. Unlike dating partners who are simply excited to see you again and express their interest with polite enthusiasm, toxic partners will get considerably upset if you choose not to respond to them right away or if you resist their idealization by giving yourself necessary space. They won’t wait for your response, either: they will continue to persist and pursue you with an unhealthy level of attention without knowing much about you.
- Addicted to provoking you.Covert manipulators are quite gifted at provocation. As they learn more about you, they are investigating your weak spots and catering their comments towards what they know will hurt you the most. Knowing you’re triggered by their comments gives them a sadistic sense of satisfaction that alleviates their secret sense of inferiority and strokes their delusions of grandeur, control and aptitude. Having control over your emotions also gives them the power to effectively manipulate you and convince you that you don’t deserve any better.-Debasing comments about your personality, your looks, your line of work, what you should wear, who you should hang out with, are all inappropriate, especially when just getting to know someone.
- Projection and Gaslighting. Narcissistic dating partners and other toxic people are also proficient at gaslighting and projection, techniques they use to convince society that their victims are the crazy ones and to convince their victims that their reality is inaccurate. The effects of this type of manipulation are incredibly lethal on victims long-term, so it is important to note signs early on in the dating process so that you can detach more quickly from the different type of reality these toxic partners are likely to impose upon you. Gaslighting and projection are very clever tactics that allow toxic dating partners to simultaneously shift the blame of their own characteristics onto you while also enabling them to escape accountability for their hypocrisy, deceit and otherwise unsavory behavior.
- Intermittent reinforcement. This is a psychological tactic that provokes you into trying to please them, even if the abuser is mistreating you. The abuser gets to have you on your “best behavior” without changing his or her own behavior. Abusers love giving “crumbs” after they’ve already seduced their victims with the idea of the whole loaf of bread. You might find yourself on the receiving end of praise, flattery, attention one day, only to be given cold silence the day after. Occasionally you will get the same idealization that you received on the first few dates, but more likely, you will get a mixture of hot and cold, leaving you uncertain about the fate of the relationship.
These are just a few signs that your in a relationship with a narcissist if you realise you are please procede with great care. Seek help from a mental health professional there are resources in your area to help. As someone who has been in this position before I can understand how hard it can be to bring yourself out of this but you can. If you feel you cant seek help do to the controlling nature of your parner your Docter can help you as well.
I had a friend who once had to inform her doctor of her situation by putting her cry for help in a form she had to fill out for the doctor, she was called into the doctors office and her partner was told he had to wait outside in the waiting room while the doctor called the police.
This was an extreme situation and chances are that most of you will not have to go through that kind of thing. However its good to know your options when it comes to relationships our own need to be loved is sometimes what can hurt us the most. I think the hardest thing that a person has to learn is to love themselves because that is the truest form of love.